Judgments are like an anchor to a boat …it keeps us stuck in a place that we should have left a long time ago. When bad things happen to us we have a tendency to go into our minds and think about what we could have done different ? What we are trying to do is to bring comfort into a place where we are now hurting. We want to change the event so that it is not real.
Some of these judgments look like this, 1
I. IF only I would have known that today would have been his last day alive I would have told him that I loved him. –
2) If only I would have known that she was going to be in that car wreck I would have driven her to the dance.
3)If only I had been home when that fire broke out, I could have saved my family.
4) If only I would have seen the signs then I could have stopped my child from committing suicide .
5) If I had known that he was going to deceive me I would have never dated him to begin with.
6) If only I knew that she had a disease then I would have never slept with her to begin with.
7) If only I had known that the lake was shallow I wouldn’t have dove in and broke my neck.
8) If only I would have known that he was going to abuse me then I would have never married him.
9) If only I would have known that my wife was going to kill my two children then I would have never married her.
Now lets unpack some of the feelings that can be involved in these statements.
- If only God had warned me then ……Are you offended and angry at God because he allowed your loved ones to die ?
- Are you mad at yourself because you made a vow to protect your loved ones and couldn’t?
- Do you believe that you failed them because you weren’t there when they needed you the most ?
- Do you believe that if you were driving that it would have stopped your daughter from dieing in that car wreck?
- Do you believe that if God had showed you the signs of suicide that you could have stopped them from killing themselves?
- Do you believe that it is your fault that your wife killed your children?
- Do you believe that its your fault that you are now paralyzed because you lacked knowledge of how shallow the water was when you jumped?
- Do you blame yourself for making a bad choice and by that one choice you got a disease that is incurable?
- Do you blame yourself for making a bad choice to date someone who deceived you?
- Do you blame God for anything??
Sometimes we cant see Gods plan because its not in our plan .None of us want to suffer. We didnt play with dolls when we were younger and figure in the pain that we might feel as a parent. We all grew up believing in the fairy tale. Go to college , get a good job, find our soul mate, have children , a big house , nice car and live happily ever after serving God .
My point is this. Gods plan is not always our plan. His ways are definitely not our ways. None of us would want to watch our child suffer for someone elses sin. Yet as a father that is exactly what happened to him. He sent his son to die on the cross and all that he could think about is how his son would restore his people back to himself .
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
If you have made any judgments against God that look like this, maybe blamed him for not telling you , maybe you have blamed yourself or maybe you have blamed someone else: than the way to experience the power of the cross is to repent for the very thoughts that you have judged anybody for including yourself.
I know for years I lived in constant regret because I couldnt save people that I loved . I beat myself up for a very long time as though that was supposed to make me feel better when the only thing that was going to make me feel better was forgiving all people that I blamed including me.
