Here is another reaping of those that I judged when I was younger….When I was younger it used to frustrate me when I would tell a man something and they would tell me ” Oh..you really dont mean that”, but I did mean it.
I couldn’t understand why they didn’t believe what I was telling them OR trust that I meant what I was saying. I was angry because I felt like they weren’t listening to me. It felt like they were telling me that I was wrong in the way that I felt about something OR even implying that I was lying to them. Which I wasn’t.
After I had several encounters with men that used me sexually I began to NOT trust men. Everything that I heard out of the mouth of a man I filtered it through a PROTECTIVE WALL that said Do not trust them, they dont mean what they say. This very judgement caused me to question everything that a man said for years..because I didn’t realize how spiritual law works.
I had NO idea that the wall that I was building was also BARRICADING me into a closed room with 4 walls and trapping me!
Later in life as I began to judge that men didn’t really mean what they were telling me . I questioned everything they said. I was living in FEAR of being decieved again by the men that I wanted to trust but I was so afraid of being wrong again.
There were times that I thought they were joking or they just didn’t want to really tell me how they felt about me.
Here was the problem. What I was doing to other people IT APPEARED that they were doing the same things to me. Even if they weren’t , in my mind they were. (Will explain that later)
I think this is how people that mean us harm get close to us because we judge through our own hearts intentions . If our heart is pure we are NOT afraid, if our heart is bitter we carry FEAR of trusting.
If I asked someone a question about what they were doing and they came back with a different answer than I believed . I thought that they were deceiving me .Not telling me the truth.(Remember I told myself not to trust them because they couldn’t be trusted. ) Sad thing was it was my judgement that couldnt be trusted because I was in FEAR of what men could do to me instead of being in Faith and trusting God.
There is a scripture that says Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. …I was always trying to read between the lines because I was not giving them a direct answer I was not getting one in return.
I joked alot about how I felt about someone because I would try to throw them off of the truth .Then when they would say something to me IT would come out in a tone that I PERCEIVED them as joking with me as well. Even though they were NOT.
If I was lying to them about how I felt in order to keep from hurting them then I WOULD judge that they were lying to me to keep from hurting me.
If I had a hard time sharing my emotions with someone then I BELIEVED that they also had a hard time sharing their emotions with me.
If I was playing coy with someone then I BELIEVED they were playing coy with me.
It wasn’t until later in my life that I learned that someone was accusing me of doing what he was doing but I wasn’t. Crazy enough though my actions looked very similar to his . I was mimicking what he was doing without even realizing it. Crazy how spiritual law catches up to you.
My point is this… What you do to others will be done to you good OR bad. We reap what we sow but it doesn’t just come back to us the way that we sowed it . It will return multiplied like the word says that it will.
Jeremiah 17:10
10ÂI the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
Proverbs 1:31
31ÂTherefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
Matthew 7:12
12ÂTherefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
Romans 12:19
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
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