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FINALLY after years of seeking the truth the holy spirit began to show me what I had done wrong. This didn’t come to me all at once. It TOOK years for him to show me all of this but this is what he showed me.
1.I was seeking him with wrong motives. I was seeking him to BUILD my Kingdom and NOT his.
2.I was tithing OUT OF FEAR. I was TRYING to BUY my way out of bondage I thought tithing was a MUST. I hadn’t tithed for years so I thought that I had to re-pay what I had stolen from him. I was way behind if that were true but don’t worry it was all a lie. Tithing stopped in the old testament .(Different teaching )
3. I had unconfessed sin because I lacked the knowledge of it. I had called God a liar at the age of 12, but I was still confessing sins that I had done in my 20’s so I wasn’t there yet .(Matthew 12:36-37)(2 corinthians 5:10) (1 corinthians 4:5)
(This is the unforgivable sin, had I died I would have gone to hell for it) If God is a liar then Jesus is NOT real and if Jesus is not real there is no Salvation.
4. I was hiding behind lies because I was afraid of looking bad to others.
5. I was hiding behind lies because I thought that they were protecting me.
6. I was hiding beyond lies because I feared the consequences of my actions.
7. I had made lies, sexual perversions and fantasies a false comforter. They would be used to bring comfort to me because I felt like God was not.
8. I was heavily engaged in sexual fantasies that were demonic.(later I did the research to trace this type of behavior back to the egyptians behaviors)
9. I was TRAPPED in sexual perversions that were degrading me and I was blaming God for it. ( I was working for love that he didn’t give me. )
10. I had judged others and was reaping destruction because of it.
11.I had made vows that needed to be broken.
12.I had to confess my sins to others to break the chains of darkness.
13.Demons were going to manifest that could harm my child. IF I wasn’t close to God then the Holy spirit COULDN’T help me STOP what SATAN was going to tryto do to harm my child. –See testimonies.
If God had healed all those people , healed the disease and other things that I had prayed for then I would have thought that I had done something right. I would have tried to steal his glory so he withheld his glory until I could see the truth. It has nothing to do with me , it is ALL about Jesus and the father and their unfailing love for humanity.